The March of the Calendar, with or without me

I demand to know when December arrived. 20 days until Christmas?! Have I been hiding that long? I have been trying to thaw to the idea of Christmas, really I have. We've been watching Christmas Movies (how is it that I've never seen White Christmas and that I didn't know Bing Crosby had such ears?!). I broke out the hot cocoa yesterday instead of my afternoon tea. And of course, the cookie baking that's been going on. I had plans to plan for Christmas this year, but when the floor fell out of our budget, it fell out of my enthusiasm for the hubris which is the American Christmas tradition. I'm slowly relaxing into the spirit of the season, trying to weave a zen path through the druid and christian traditions without feeling the crush of guilt for not participating in the more commercial aspects of it all. It helps staying cut off from the commercial world, if only the girls didn't have that influence from other sources. I have to remind myself that it's not about the stuff, but about the coming of the light (whether you follow the druid tradition in celebration of the passing of the seasons, or the christian tradition in celebration of the birth of Jesus). Reconciling the tradition of St. Nick and the emphasis on giving, with its modern interpretation is still a struggle, but I'm finding it less overwhelming. But only by a little bit.